Hiya everyone! I just wanted to let everyone know I am alive! I know it has been a while and the last time I wrote I was all bummed and crap......
Let's see..I have about 5 minutes to write this because I still do not have Internet at home and I have too come to the local library to use the internet
BIG HONKIN HINT...if you want to give me big time prezzie...I could use a laptop with wireless capabilities so I can just hit the hot spots around town to use the thing. Still no phone service at home but I have a cell so iffin you want to reach me..and you know you do....just throw me an e-mail an when I get it, I'll send you my new cell number.
OKAY now an update. Dear husband is still doing well bu tr his meds run almost 400 a month. Hey could be worse.
Daughter has the attitude from hell but she is still the nuttiest kid I know and will still cuddle up with her mom on occasion.
I'm still working and loving my job. Wish I had a damn car though. I'm renting one this week because the last one I was going to buy fell through. Hard to find a $1000 car that has a good transmission and can get at least 20 mpg. I need to have a talk with Dave Ramsey about that "driving a beater" thing.
My husband is still working as well....Is that freaking unbelievable or what! We have both been employed since April!!!
We are catching up slowly but surely on the debt thing. Biggest issue is trying to catch up on the mortgage right now. Other than that we have water, electricity and gas!!!YES!!!!
Oh and another upside since the last time we spoke. My dog's issue is better. I found a dog and kept it in my backyard while trying to find it's owner...well he lives with us now. My dog gets along with him pretty well and they hang outside during the day with no problems! On bad weather days they hang out in the utility room together. It has been a Godsend...uh but the new dog eats like a friggin horse.
Anyhow...I have ideas on keeping this thing current but it will have to be after the holidays. I work like a dog during the holidays but I like it and I get paid.
Damn I'm lucky!
I gotta go the library chases folks like me off around this time.
Drop me a note guys..oh and the little elf that dropped something in my bucket.....I LOVE YOU!!
December 06, 2007
July 02, 2007
Good Day …Bad Day…geez
I’ve been meaning to write an update but this isn’t it. It’s been a friggin roller coaster ride the past few weeks. We did get back into our home, which means the power is back on. Oh and we also have running water now. WOOHOO. For the last couple of weeks though, I was under the impression that we had no hot water. Why would I think that? Oh I don’t know…could it have been the damn notice on the front door that said they cut my gas off??? So I’ve been taking fairly cold showers and stuff which hasn’t been that bad considering the water that comes out of the tap is warm from the heat of the day. Ah but that doesn’t bother me none..I got power and that means Air conditioning. Oh wait…two days after we got back in the house…the A/C broke down. AAARRRGH! Thank goodness for fans eh?
So okay, power, no a/c. Water…no hot water.
My kitty has been very sick for the last week. Renal failure and seizures. I’ve been giving her IV fluids every day. She was doing a little better but tonight, I went home to give her the fluids and she had a major seizure and died. She was old and it would have happened sooner or later but she was my last kitty that I had before my daughter was born. I’ll miss my sweet Bunny. I was glad I was with her in the end, even though it was hard to watch. I sang to her and stroked her body. After she passed, I went to the kitchen to do something and I turn on the water and I guess I pushed the lever to hot side and HEY!!! We have hot water! It was kinda hard to get excited about it but it was a nice little treat.
Did I mention that my dog has decided he can’t be without us? While we were out of the house for the first two days, he would stay with me while I worked all day then go home and spend the night without us. He did fine and then one day the neighbor calls to tell me my dog is sitting in the front yard. My calm dog JUMPED out the window. This time it was open. I got him situated and the next day he dove through a friggin closed window. So now he is living in a crate. Okay…not living in it…he spends like three hours a day in it but in those three hours, he manages to pull two or three heavy-duty wires loose. This is my sweet little dog that wouldn’t hurt a fly…but for goodness sakes don’t TRAP HIM! Who the hell knew….
On the upside I only have one and a half loan payments to go before I get caught up!
Another upside is that my husband is doing well since the heart attack. Okay there is more but I’m not at home and it is late…oh did I mention I have no internet, because my phone is off for now? Well I didn’t want to end on a down note so…..let’s see….I’m still working! Hey that’s a positive note right????
Okay....your turn…write me a note or else……..
June 14, 2007
Is it wrong........
Is it wrong to just sit and cry? When it feels like the harder you try to make things right, the deeper the shit gets. When you know it’s not “just” the depression.
I’m tired. Tired of doing. Every fucking day I’m doing but not getting anything done. I can get a loan to catch up on bills since my husband’s heart attack, but I need to get my insurance paid first. I can pay my insurance if I can get the loan. I can get the power turned back on, if I had the entire amount the power company wants me to have but I don’t have it all. Just need a bit more extra money. The same extra money that I am using to rent a car that I HAVE to have so I can work and get my husband to and from work. The work I have to do to help pay for my husband’s medication. The medication he HAS to have so he can stay alive, so he can work, so he can make enough money to help buy his medication. So we can get our piece of shit car fixed, so I can stop renting a car, so we can save enough money to get the power and water turned back on, so we can move back into our home, which we are 2 months behind on the mortgage, so we can stop mooching off other people’s generosity and good hearts, so I can stop feeling like such a loser which makes me more depressed, which makes me want to cry.
So is it so fucking wrong to just want to cry?
I’m tired. Tired of doing. Every fucking day I’m doing but not getting anything done. I can get a loan to catch up on bills since my husband’s heart attack, but I need to get my insurance paid first. I can pay my insurance if I can get the loan. I can get the power turned back on, if I had the entire amount the power company wants me to have but I don’t have it all. Just need a bit more extra money. The same extra money that I am using to rent a car that I HAVE to have so I can work and get my husband to and from work. The work I have to do to help pay for my husband’s medication. The medication he HAS to have so he can stay alive, so he can work, so he can make enough money to help buy his medication. So we can get our piece of shit car fixed, so I can stop renting a car, so we can save enough money to get the power and water turned back on, so we can move back into our home, which we are 2 months behind on the mortgage, so we can stop mooching off other people’s generosity and good hearts, so I can stop feeling like such a loser which makes me more depressed, which makes me want to cry.
So is it so fucking wrong to just want to cry?
May 15, 2007
A nice little update
When last we chatted, I had a husband who just had a heart attack. I asked for prayers and good thoughts regarding his recovery and angiogram. WELL IT WORKED!!
Saturday Morning(5-12-07) at 9:30am, he went in for his angiogram. I decided to take my 9 year old daughter to the hospital to see him before the surgery. She did not seem all that nervous which actually made me feel better. After they took him in, we hung out in the family waiting room together. We were both dog tired. There was a small room off to the side where a couch would pull out into a bed, so we went in there to wait. Now, let me tell you, I am a MAJOR germaphobe, and being in the hospital was hard enough on me. Being in that tiny room with a fold away bed that probably a million other folks had slept on, just gave me the willies. BUT ya have to put your fears in for a reality check when something like this is happening. I let my daughter lie down on the bed and made her PROMISE not to roll on her stomach.
Thank goodness I drag around a big bottle of gel sanitizer with me. I smeared us both in it later.
Anyway, about 45 minutes in, an assistant came out and told us they found a blockage in one of my husband's arteries and they were putting a stent in. He was super nice and let me know that he was doing very well.
About 30 minutes later the doctor came out and said they were finished. He showed me before and after photos of my husband's artery. WOW! No wonder he had pain in his chest. His artery was 70% blocked. The good news was they did not find any heart damage or any other significant blockages. He was back in his CCU room by 11:30am.
It was amazing how much calmer he was. We all hung out, just the three of us, and had a couple of snacks. My daughter went to a friend's house for the rest of the day and night and I stayed at the hospital. By about 5 o'clock my husband was cracking me up. He was feeling so much better. We were cracking jokes and having a grand ol time. He was on bedrest until 11:pm. We both fell asleep about 10pm, before he could get a chance to get out of the bed. The next morning he was able to move around. The doctor came in around 9 in the morning and told my husband how well he did and then explained all the things he will have to change in his life, so he can live longer and avoid this from happening again. He made sure to let us know that we were very fortunate to have caught this so early.(hint hint, next time you have pains in your chest, don't wait a month and then end up having a heart attck before coming in)
Then, he discharged him. We had not even been at the hospital 48 hours. PLUS he told my husband he could go back to work on Monday but to take it easy. Can you believe it? Heart attack on Friday, Stent on Wednesday and back to work on Monday. He did go to work on Monday but only worked half a day. He got his paycheck thank goodness, because it took 90% of it to buy just 15 days worth of his medications. No, we don't have insurance. He has only worked at this job for 5 weeks and insurance would have kicked in after 90 days. Kind of bad timing wouldn't you say?
If it weren't for all the good thoughts and prayers, I doubt it would have gone this smoothly. I am so lucky to have such good friends and readers. Thank you to everyone who has sent their good thoughts our way. Also thank you to those who called to check on us, those who offered rides back and forth to the hospital so I could save a little money on parking and to those who helped so much by being there for my daughter. It means the world to us to have you around.
I'll update you all on the progress. He has two days off and is taking it easy yet I still can't get him to quit stressing about money. Since both of us were away from work for 4 days, and we both are hourly workers, we lost almost $600 in income. That money was going to try to fix the car and to pay the electric bill. I have to turn in the rental tomorrow(BIG BUMMER). There is no way to rent it again for a week as they want a $250 deposit which is quite aggrevating since I am only spending $160 for it. But it will be nice when they refund the balance and maybe it will bring my bank account a little closer to the positive side.
Well that is all for now friends.
A BIG HONKIN THANK YOU to everyone!
Saturday Morning(5-12-07) at 9:30am, he went in for his angiogram. I decided to take my 9 year old daughter to the hospital to see him before the surgery. She did not seem all that nervous which actually made me feel better. After they took him in, we hung out in the family waiting room together. We were both dog tired. There was a small room off to the side where a couch would pull out into a bed, so we went in there to wait. Now, let me tell you, I am a MAJOR germaphobe, and being in the hospital was hard enough on me. Being in that tiny room with a fold away bed that probably a million other folks had slept on, just gave me the willies. BUT ya have to put your fears in for a reality check when something like this is happening. I let my daughter lie down on the bed and made her PROMISE not to roll on her stomach.
Thank goodness I drag around a big bottle of gel sanitizer with me. I smeared us both in it later.
Anyway, about 45 minutes in, an assistant came out and told us they found a blockage in one of my husband's arteries and they were putting a stent in. He was super nice and let me know that he was doing very well.
About 30 minutes later the doctor came out and said they were finished. He showed me before and after photos of my husband's artery. WOW! No wonder he had pain in his chest. His artery was 70% blocked. The good news was they did not find any heart damage or any other significant blockages. He was back in his CCU room by 11:30am.
It was amazing how much calmer he was. We all hung out, just the three of us, and had a couple of snacks. My daughter went to a friend's house for the rest of the day and night and I stayed at the hospital. By about 5 o'clock my husband was cracking me up. He was feeling so much better. We were cracking jokes and having a grand ol time. He was on bedrest until 11:pm. We both fell asleep about 10pm, before he could get a chance to get out of the bed. The next morning he was able to move around. The doctor came in around 9 in the morning and told my husband how well he did and then explained all the things he will have to change in his life, so he can live longer and avoid this from happening again. He made sure to let us know that we were very fortunate to have caught this so early.(hint hint, next time you have pains in your chest, don't wait a month and then end up having a heart attck before coming in)
Then, he discharged him. We had not even been at the hospital 48 hours. PLUS he told my husband he could go back to work on Monday but to take it easy. Can you believe it? Heart attack on Friday, Stent on Wednesday and back to work on Monday. He did go to work on Monday but only worked half a day. He got his paycheck thank goodness, because it took 90% of it to buy just 15 days worth of his medications. No, we don't have insurance. He has only worked at this job for 5 weeks and insurance would have kicked in after 90 days. Kind of bad timing wouldn't you say?
If it weren't for all the good thoughts and prayers, I doubt it would have gone this smoothly. I am so lucky to have such good friends and readers. Thank you to everyone who has sent their good thoughts our way. Also thank you to those who called to check on us, those who offered rides back and forth to the hospital so I could save a little money on parking and to those who helped so much by being there for my daughter. It means the world to us to have you around.
I'll update you all on the progress. He has two days off and is taking it easy yet I still can't get him to quit stressing about money. Since both of us were away from work for 4 days, and we both are hourly workers, we lost almost $600 in income. That money was going to try to fix the car and to pay the electric bill. I have to turn in the rental tomorrow(BIG BUMMER). There is no way to rent it again for a week as they want a $250 deposit which is quite aggrevating since I am only spending $160 for it. But it will be nice when they refund the balance and maybe it will bring my bank account a little closer to the positive side.
Well that is all for now friends.
A BIG HONKIN THANK YOU to everyone!
May 12, 2007
Iffin you are the prayin kind....
Hi folks, I only gave a minute here but I thought I would share. Yesterday I took my husband in to the hospital for some arm and chest pain and it turns out he was having a heart attack. He will be having an arteriogram(sp?) and possibly an angiogram today. We are both scared shitless. Thank goodness our daughter had a Girl Scout sleepover last night but it was supposed to be a Mother/Daughter sleepover so she was bummed out. This morning I am heading to pick her up and take her to the hospital to see her Dad before they do surgery. It would be REALLY nice if I could stop crying ya know?
If you are the praying kind or just the send good vibes kind, could you managed to put us in your thoughts?
Oh and I spent my last $10 on parking, so if anyone out there feels the need to throw some change in my PayPal account...don't let me hold you back. We won't get my husband's paycheck til Monday possibly Tuesday and well....ya know.
Thank you every one for thinking of us...I'll update as I can.
Just in case you need it, my PayPal ID is rantingmama@yahoo.com
If you are the praying kind or just the send good vibes kind, could you managed to put us in your thoughts?
Oh and I spent my last $10 on parking, so if anyone out there feels the need to throw some change in my PayPal account...don't let me hold you back. We won't get my husband's paycheck til Monday possibly Tuesday and well....ya know.
Thank you every one for thinking of us...I'll update as I can.
Just in case you need it, my PayPal ID is rantingmama@yahoo.com
May 10, 2007
Maybe you misunderstood me......
Okay so in my last post, I mentioned I really needed to get a second car. Obviously there is no dealership out there that feels the overwhelming urge to do some charity work and donate a car to someone who is not a 501c. Heck guys, you could advertise all over the car. I drive all over Houston and the surrounding neighborhoods every day. What better advertisement than to have drivers stuck in traffic staring at your name and phone number or website splashed all over a car? Hey I'd keep the car looking good and I have a clean driving record. Oh well that's something that will never happen.
So what I really wanted to say is that when you all sent good second car thoughts, I think the powers that be, thought you wanted my first car to BITE IT BIG, so I'd have to get another car. Why do I think this? BECAUSE IT HAPPENED! My transmission was already slipping but within a week it went from slightly annoying to downright dangerous. Oh sure, let me pump a thousand dollars of money I don't have into a car that only cost me $2,000 to begin with. If I had the thousand I'd put it down on another car. So, considering, I HAD to have transportation to do my job, I had to rent a car. It was an emergency. I need to actually rent one for another two weeks or so but I can't afford it. OR I need to just buy a car and that ain't happenin. Surely someone out there has a car that their parent can't drive anymore or their child has gone off to college and left the car behind and they need a new owner but don't want to hassel with selling it. I'M RIGHT HERE PEOPLE!!!!! I need the car and you NEED someone to take it off your hands.
OKay so maybe you all understand me better now. Let's send good car vibes. Just good car vibes. Or good free but running with A/C car vibes.
We looked into my husband taking a bus to work every day. It would take almost 3.5 hours round trip if the buses are running on schedule! YIKES! We hardly see him much now.
I'm going to pick up my daughter now but please feel free to talk to all your connections and see what you can do for me OR you can drop a little change in my PayPal donations box so that I can pay to keep this car another week. It's only costing me $166.25 so ya know,......a buck fifty would go a long way. OR I'm renting and economy car through Enterprise with a 20% off coupon so if you know some way to get it even cheaper...PLEASE let me know.
And thank you for commenting! I love comments as much as I like getting prezzies!
So what I really wanted to say is that when you all sent good second car thoughts, I think the powers that be, thought you wanted my first car to BITE IT BIG, so I'd have to get another car. Why do I think this? BECAUSE IT HAPPENED! My transmission was already slipping but within a week it went from slightly annoying to downright dangerous. Oh sure, let me pump a thousand dollars of money I don't have into a car that only cost me $2,000 to begin with. If I had the thousand I'd put it down on another car. So, considering, I HAD to have transportation to do my job, I had to rent a car. It was an emergency. I need to actually rent one for another two weeks or so but I can't afford it. OR I need to just buy a car and that ain't happenin. Surely someone out there has a car that their parent can't drive anymore or their child has gone off to college and left the car behind and they need a new owner but don't want to hassel with selling it. I'M RIGHT HERE PEOPLE!!!!! I need the car and you NEED someone to take it off your hands.
OKay so maybe you all understand me better now. Let's send good car vibes. Just good car vibes. Or good free but running with A/C car vibes.
We looked into my husband taking a bus to work every day. It would take almost 3.5 hours round trip if the buses are running on schedule! YIKES! We hardly see him much now.
I'm going to pick up my daughter now but please feel free to talk to all your connections and see what you can do for me OR you can drop a little change in my PayPal donations box so that I can pay to keep this car another week. It's only costing me $166.25 so ya know,......a buck fifty would go a long way. OR I'm renting and economy car through Enterprise with a 20% off coupon so if you know some way to get it even cheaper...PLEASE let me know.
And thank you for commenting! I love comments as much as I like getting prezzies!
April 10, 2007
Oh it's a strange day
Today is the first day that my husband has gone to a job in about 9 years. Actually 12 years if you don't count a few odd jobs that were contract work. It just so happens I have today off. So here I sit with my daughter at school and my husband at work. Is this what it is supposed to be like? Is this what the "real" world of family is like? It's weird I tell ya. Oh don't get me wrong, I am enjoying the quiet and if I could really focus, I could get a lot done but I can't. It's just all too strange to me.
If our water wasn't still turned off, I'd be doing dishes and laundry, I might even take a shower. But alas, just because we both have jobs, it doesn't mean we have money yet. For the first few months we'll be catching up on bills. I can hardly believe that at some point, we may actually have enough money to not have to worry when the power is going to be turned off. I'm honestly afraid to even think that far along.
Even more exciting but not to be thought about for fear it won't happen, is that if we can get our loan refinanced and have a tad more added to it, we can maybe get a second car. Not a new one mind you, that will never happen, but a car that is new to us. I've been looking at all the reports on gas mileage. There are two cars I think would fit our needs and keep the gas costs down and they are both Toyotas. Uh...anybody out there wanna donate a Toyota Matrix 4 door or even an older style Corolla? Yeah that's what I thought. The way our days are going now is that we all pile in the ol hooptie 93 Taurus and drop my daughter off at school. Then we head out to my hubby's new work. I drop him off and then come back into town and start driving everywhere to see my animal clients. My car will not last long. So, keep your fingers crossed that I can get the money added to the loan...hey it worked when you all sent good thoughts for the husband getting a job so why not have it work for this too.
Well, I'm going to go actually try to be productive and then go pick up that wonderful child of mine who has a new attitude and it's usually full of piss and vinegar and pointed straight at me.
Thanks for being here folks!
Why not leave a comment?
If our water wasn't still turned off, I'd be doing dishes and laundry, I might even take a shower. But alas, just because we both have jobs, it doesn't mean we have money yet. For the first few months we'll be catching up on bills. I can hardly believe that at some point, we may actually have enough money to not have to worry when the power is going to be turned off. I'm honestly afraid to even think that far along.
Even more exciting but not to be thought about for fear it won't happen, is that if we can get our loan refinanced and have a tad more added to it, we can maybe get a second car. Not a new one mind you, that will never happen, but a car that is new to us. I've been looking at all the reports on gas mileage. There are two cars I think would fit our needs and keep the gas costs down and they are both Toyotas. Uh...anybody out there wanna donate a Toyota Matrix 4 door or even an older style Corolla? Yeah that's what I thought. The way our days are going now is that we all pile in the ol hooptie 93 Taurus and drop my daughter off at school. Then we head out to my hubby's new work. I drop him off and then come back into town and start driving everywhere to see my animal clients. My car will not last long. So, keep your fingers crossed that I can get the money added to the loan...hey it worked when you all sent good thoughts for the husband getting a job so why not have it work for this too.
Well, I'm going to go actually try to be productive and then go pick up that wonderful child of mine who has a new attitude and it's usually full of piss and vinegar and pointed straight at me.
Thanks for being here folks!
Why not leave a comment?
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